Thursday, December 11, 2014

One at a time, please?

Since the school days began last November, I noticed that I am different compared to how I was as a student last semester. I don't know if I am feeling a little laid back, or I'm just really stressed from all the school and work load. I'm not using this as an excuse, but I think it's because 70% of my subjects now consist of Math. I know the basics: addition, subtraction, multiplication and division...but when you involve word problems, all those drawings, I get lost. So this semester, whenever I pass a quiz or activity, I would thank the Lord up above for helping me! I'd say, "Thank you, Lord! Akalain mo nga naman!" Yung feeling na akala mo sasabit ka pero nakalusot. Having that fear of failing, I really work my ass off especially in Math related subjects. With all my effort, I can proudly say that I am a more studious student now compared to when I was studying at Miriam College. My parents and friends noticed that.

The moment I step my feet on the grounds of TIP, I make sure that I open my notes and browse through them thoroughly even for just 5 minutes. Even if I don't understand most of it, I check it out anyway.  If I really have to understand it, I go to YouTube and Google for reference instead. I enjoy the feeling of being a student again. Maybe that's also why I put this much effort even though it's already eating me alive. Aside from the allowance I get from my mother, class suspensions and holidays are some of the things I look forward to as a student. I won't be a hypocrite. Sometimes, I love not going to school because it gives me the chance to work on my duties in the office.

Living this double life now is pretty surprising for me. I never imagined that I'd be working and studying at the same time. Whenever I hear stories like this before, I thought it was easy. I was wrong. Though my work in the office is simple, time is my main problem. I have so many homeworks & reports to do, and then I have deadlines to meet in the office. No matter how much I try to manage my to-do list on my planner, 24 hours a day is just not enough. There are days when I wake up in the morning, think of the things I have to do, and feel tired right away.

1. Where can I get an installer of Auto CAD?
2. Where can I buy a book in Solid Mensuration?
3. I have 3 exams tomorrow - 6 hours isn't enough.
4. I have to do lots of work at the office tomorrow
5. I have to think on how will I pay may fcking credit card
6. BLABLABLABLA

When I accomplish something, it gives me the feeling that I deserve all the good things in life. I know that all these stressful things I am encountering now will be better in time... but I want to go on vacation mode NOW.


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