WHY MARRY?

Ken and I announced our wedding in a manner that surprised everyone. Many of our friends and some relatives asked us WHY?

Why are you getting married  so soon? Did he propose? When did he propose? Are you guys really sure? Are you pregnant? Is he/she really the one you really want to get married to? How did this happen; your father just died and you are getting married?

These are just some of the questions that were asked to us. For the first few moments of interrogation (that's honestly how it felt at the time), we patiently and truthfully answered. It was a bit offensive and I grew tired of answering the same questions. It was like I wanted to create a draft and then just send it to whoever asks. I then realized, why do I need to explain? Does everyone need to know my business? 

Well, one year into our marriage, here, let me answer your questions.

As soon as we got together in 2018, we were so clingy. Just like other new relationships, we were on the phase of not getting enough of each other. When we started our  own vape shop that year, we grew even clingier since we were together for 24/7. I stayed at their house for like 3 months, then I asked him if he could just stay in mine. It is closer to our business location and I was constantly worried about my mom, dad, sister, and dogs. Though my time with my in-laws was short lived, I really enjoyed every minute of it and I am really grateful to them for opening their home to me. I consider myself very blessed for having no issues/problems with my in-laws. I am beyond grateful! Just have to make singit here that I have the best mother-in-law in the whole world! Super cool and bait! <3

So anyway, Ken then lived with us here at home. My dad got sick, Prada died, and then my dad passed away. He was there when my whole world was falling apart. I was really NOT OKAY. But Ken was there. He was always there. I know this sounds cliché, but he gave his shoulders for me to cry on. Literally. He was always there to listen to my rants and heartaches. I was able to express the frustrations I had that were just in my head. After a while, my heart was catching up with what was happening around it, my mentality was getting better, and my emotions controlled. My mom, sister and I got better and stronger. We were slowly trying to move on with our lives.

Adjusting well with living together, my mom asked me if we were okay with this kind of setup. As a mother, she was worried about what others would think. It never crossed our minds to get married that soon, but after living together for almost a year, we realized we should take our relationship to the next level! By far the best decision ever. 

Both of our mothers agreed! My mother-in-law then told us  that they have a belief in the family (she is half Chinese/half Filipino), that we have to get married within 100 days after my father's death, or it will bring us bad luck. If we will not get married within 100 days, we will wait for another 2 years. It gave us another reason to just really push it! Why wait for another 2 years, if we can get married within 100 days? My family is also superstitious, so we never really doubted or backed out. We knew some will raise a brow, but we actually didn't give a fuck. Haha. We knew since day one that it will be each other on each end of that aisle, so why not do it now?

We checked our calendars and counted 100 days, and set our date exactly on the 100th day. It was a Saturday, October 12, 2019. A perfect day to get married. 

I can still remember how my mom was too excited that she was sending me links of wedding church packages, or tagging me on some wedding related posts on facebook. She was too excited that it also made me happy, of course! Who would not!

To those who still wanna know, here:

There was no proposal, and I was not pregnant when we planned our wedding :)

Being married is a lifelong commitment. It's not just about your wedding day, you being a wife and him being a husband. Those are just titles. After a year of being married, I learned that both of you really have to exert a lot of effort and take charge of your responsibilities to carry out a successful marriage. Before we got married, we were taught by elders, the internet, seminars, and gospels that we need to be patient, be a giver and a taker, be understanding, etc. Yeah, those are important too. But when you're already married, everything changes: you change, he changes, and the circumstances change. There is so much more into what a real married life is than what you see in movies and series. Love is a big fat portion of a good marriage, but adjustment and respect are bigger portions of it.